The Family at 22.

Kristina Subsara October 18, 2013

Tonight I had the opportunity to photograph an old friend from high school and her little family. We went to a local park and enjoyed the subtle sunset, the gorgeous fall leaves, talking to trees, and trying to sidestep the mud puddles. It was a lovely evening which reminded me of my love for photography. I've been working so much taking photographs for school pictures which requires little thought and no knowledge of a camera. It pays bills but it is not the artistic outlet for me. Tonight capturing Xiao's little actions and expressions had me smiling all evening. I was glad to get my love back, just in time for Xiao to invite me over for dinner at house 22. He warmed my heart.

"Xiao, how old are you?"

"FIVE!"

That day I met Joe McNally

Kristina Subsara April 23, 2013

I know I've mentioned the fact that I'm in grad school, and I'm sure I've bragged where I'm learning all these amazing storytelling/photography skills because it is the top journalism school in the country and it's the first time I've been proud of my school. I applied to Newhouse and only Newhouse. I thought if God wanted me in grad school, he'd get me in, and if not, it wasn't meant to be. I ended up getting in. One of the main reasons I was drawn to this school was the long list of amazing alumni, but none more prominent than Joe McNally. This is a world famous National Geographic photographer who has mastered lighting and has traveled around the world shooting some of the most gorgeous photos my eyes have ever had the glory to see. Google him, you won't be disappointed.

This week, he came to my school to speak and I was lucky enough to be invited to an intimate barbeque where the grad students could meet and chat with Joe. I was fangirling just getting the email. A few days later, the former chair of photography at Newhouse invited us to bring some work and get some advice from Joe. I jumped to bring my little portfolio and get another set of eyes at it.

Professor Mike Davis gets a better view for photos and for listening to Joe McNally speak to the students.

I wasn't disappointed. First of all, Joe talked to us telling stories and answering questions. His quick wit and sass won us all over. He's a smart and thoughtful man. He told us how things were like, we can't expect to be given photo assignments. You have to work and fight for them. At times it almost seemed discouraging, and he even asked us if this was a depressing fact. However, we've always been told photography has to be a passion not a hobby.

Not a lot of people had brought work to show, which ended up being a good thing because Joe had had a long day. I was able to show him my 20 photos. He said I had some good photos but that I needed to dig deeper to get farther into the story. He said, my portfolio is a good group of photos but it didn't move him. This might be disappointing except with the criticism he gave me advice on my final masters project. Seriously, how amazing is that? He sparked my creativity which has been dead the last few weeks.

Photo by professor Deb Pang Davis.

He ended his trip with a lecture hall filled of all kinds of people going through his photographs and telling the stories and all about his trials and tribulations. He made us all laugh, (I might admit to a tear or two when he showed the last photograph he ever took of his mother) and he inspired a ton of people to be tenacious photographers. I am sincerely grateful for his review and inspiration. I felt like I met a hero and he exceeded my expectations of him. I'm sorry this is corny. It's been a rough few months and I'm getting to love my camera again.

I'll end this with a quote I wrote down from him, "I'm a photographer. Sometimes I get it, most times I miss it. We work hard at this. If we miss it, we just have to be comfortable with this."

Oh! And, "available light is the best light.

...and by available light I mean any god damn light that's available."

Visiting Front Page Africa

Kristina Subsara February 20, 2013

Day 3

It was a day of relaxation. (sort of) We woke up around 11 and got ready to go out. We walked to a hotel and had some food from there. I had a kebab and it was different from the kebabs in Germany and Austria. Jess had hummus and it might be the best hummus I've ever had. I also had mango juice and Ken and Jess had this Lebanese coffee or something like that. apparently it was really good.

This is our new kitten friend. we take turns tossing him french fries. So sweet!

We hung out there for about an hour and a half until we found out they don't have internet. So we walked over to Dona Maria's, the pizza and ice cream shop.

We did some research on the journalists and picked people we will be following around and getting more of their story. I have Mae who is incredibly famous in Liberia. She's had to go into hiding a few times because of the controversy of her stories. We had "ice cream" at Dona Marias, but it looked like gelato and it tasted like the most fake strawberry thing I've ever had. like a lip balm and ice cream mixed together.

At around 5 we left to go to Front Page Africa and meet people and take a look around.

We met Rodney Sieh and Wade Williams, another journalist. We got to see the printing presses and shake hands with a lot of people who work there. We got an idea of what their days are like by talking to Wade. She's an awesome and inspiring woman who raises two daughters and works 10-14 hours a day a few days a week. She likes to do stories on governmental issues. Rodney has gone to jail a few times for various stories as well. Both are really inspiring.

After we stood and talked to them for a few hours, we left and stopped at a place for some food. They got my order wrong, so I'm not sure what I ate but it was chicken and potatoes and garlic wrapped up. it was delicious. We ate with David, our driver. Dinner discussions ranged from religion to New Narratives. This is a really good, insightful group that I'm with. After we got back to the hotel we went through our audio gear and tried to figure things out and synchronize everything.

Fingers crossed I don't screw up the audio. I'm a year ahead of the other two in school despite me being younger, so I definitely feel like it's on my shoulders.

We have stereo mics, zoom h4ns, lav mics, and a shotgun mic. We have the stuff, we just have little to none training. So I guess we'll see how everything goes.

Day Dieciséis

Kristina Subsara September 29, 2012

Today is the last day at Cerecaly and with the kids. It's a bittersweet day. All of us are exhausted yet so amped for the kids to see their hard work. As you know, last "night" ended around 5am. We awoke in the early morning light with no electricity, a noon deadline, and the men missing because they were off in town getting gasoline. We stumbled out of bed and quickly went downstairs to set up our stuff. The generator was hooked up and we went to work. While I worked on the video, Oscar took the musician outside to record the music for our movie. Esme was upstairs vigorously cleaning the area we had spent the last two weeks teaching the kids. It was filled with posters, markers, and our teaching outlines. She set to making the place presentable for the kids and their families. Melissa was helping set things up as well. However, she was also running into our work area asking if we needed anything, bringing us breakfast (hotcakes!), coffee, tea, anything we needed she was willing to get us so we didn't have to get up. It was truly lifesaving.

©Esme Brandon

Sarah was putting the ending touches on her video. At around 9 some of the kids came. They surrounded around our work area and were a huge distraction. They were chatting to me, which I really don't speak Spanish still. They were talking to Oscar who was my main helper at this point with last minute touches and listening to the audio. His job was putting it into the movie. Melissa grabbed the kids and put them to work putting out the red carpet. Meanwhile I went outside in the rain to make some sound effects for the movie. We needed a sharp crack and a scream. I ended up wetting a towel and pistol-whipping the side of Cerecaly until it cracked. The scream wasn't going to happen because I was losing my voice, but we were pretty sure we could find something in a group of default sound effects.

The time flew by really quickly, and the closer it got to noon, more and more people were showing up, coming into our room, chatting with us, and marveling at the fact we weren't done. For once in my life, I wasn't worried. It wasn't like we were slacking off at any point. The power going out was a freak accident, and we started working as soon as we possibly could once we got electricity. I know some of the others were getting frazzled but we all kept telling each other to keep going! I know I mentioned this before but this was such a positive place to be in. There were so many things that went wrong, but in the end, no one freaked out, everyone got everything done, and we were all really mature despite the circumstances. I can't tell people enough how great this group was.

Around noon, people were asking us to give them a time. This is the hardest part, in my opinion. I've had renders take hours, I've had them take minutes. There are a lot of factors that decide the fate of time. As Oscar looked over the other groups and finished checking our movie, I finally hopped in the shower and dressed up in my "formal dress." Oscar showered after me and I worked on credits, which was actually really hard. All the kids had four names, and the spellings were all different from what i'm used to, I was using a mac that has spanish symbols and the keys are slightly different. I didn't even finish half of the cast when Oscar came back and took over this as well. Sarah went to shower and dress up then, which left Oscar and I to export.

We put the Akosia bumpers in the video and did a few final touches. I think I reexported the video at least four times due to little things I had to add into the other teams video. FINALLY we were exporting.

Meanwhile upstairs, Esme and Melissa were entertaining maybe 60 people that had turned up to watch the movies. It was past noon at this time, they had already had people talking, musicians playing, maybe some jokes, etc. Everyone came downstairs to eat as we were working on putting the exported videos through one more program to get them ready for the tv. The two sisters were incredible at keeping everyone entertained and in good spirits. I applaud them because that isn't easy to do.

After everyone finished with their snacks, we all went back upstairs to watch the movies. We handed out papers so the audience could vote on their favorite actors, movies, directors, props, etc. Some people stood up and talked and introduced us all, and then we started watching the other groups film. I filmed the audience reactions while watching. I think everyone was just surprised at everything the kids had accomplished. They did it all. They learned about storytelling, started creating stories and characters, storyboarding, casting everyone, directing, acting, videographers, makeup artists, location scouts, everything. I am still in awe of everything they accomplished and it was incredible seeing the audience's reactions to the first video. There was a roar of cheers and we brought that group up and introduced the characters and everyone's roles.

Next was Oscar and my video. I stood in the back so I could stand next to him and soak up the moment. I swelled with pride at everything we had accomplished. I couldn't help but feel so blessed to have met Oscar and for him to be a part of this project. I learned so much from him, we all did. We stood as we watched our video play and the audience was horrified when the murders happened and laughed at some other parts. It was SO successful and so emotional to have it finally finished. We gave everyone a chance to fill out their votes and collected the papers to tally up.

The five of us went into the bedroom to get the "oscars" we made to hand out to the award winners and tally up the votes. About 15 minutes later we emerged. We told everyone we were so incredibly proud to work with these talented kids. Then we gave everyone a certificate for participating in everything. This came with a handshake of all the kids and a photo with each one. Some of the older guys came up and kissed us on the cheek, which got a lot of the kids in the audience hollering for their moxy. A few of us got emotional, not saying any names but it rhymes with jezme...and me of course.

We finally got really for the other awards. We called out a lot of the specific roles from Esme and Sarah's group. They showed the most knowledge of the techniques and equipment. It was incredible watching the growth from those who really were interested in their roles. Although their team had most of those specific roles from their groups, our horror movie won most of the movie awards. Our main actor was the best actor, niño padré, and we also won best picture. It was so amazing seeing the kids' faces light up once they won their awards. At the very end we were thanked by FAI and we were presented with these wonderful presents. They were baskets with fans, some homemade remedies from Chuy, some amazing soap that has lavender in it, and a pen. It was so sweet of them to put something together like this to help us remember (though I don't think we'll forget their kindness soon).

And suddenly, it's over. We're filing downstairs outside and waving goodbye. We stopped to take some photos. Most of the little girls wanted a photo with me. I switched from being photographed to photographing and filming as much as I could. I wanted to stop time and have a second to talk to each of them, encourage them to keep creating, hug them, photograph everyone. Unfortunately, time doesn't work that way. I had a tough time saying goodbye. We promised them we'd stay in touch, and then they were gone.

The people of Cerecaly called us in for lunch and we met people from FAI and friends of Mauricios. But mostly, us five stayed together talking and laughing. We knew there wasn't much time left and there was finally no pressure of lesson plans, spanish lessons, or video editing. (I'd like to add that the power came on around this time, of course). We ate Chuy's delicious food and I was sure to give a lot of love to my love, Orpheus.

After "lunch" we all went up to our rooms to pack. People kept coming in and saying goodbye to us. Mauricio came by before he left and we said a really hard goodbye to him.

About an hour later, Oscar came in to say goodbye. We all said how grateful we were to have met him and got to know him. I think it's safe to say I was the closest to him during this trip. I couldn't stop the tears because I knew it would be a long time until I got to see him again. He just cocked his head to one side, smiled, and said "Don't cry, we'll see each other soon." One last hug and he left.

The rest of this post I want to just say I was depressed. Esme hugged me and slipped me some tissues and I didn't even want to think about saying goodbye to these incredible woman, although I'm more confident my future holds more adventures with them.

We finally had everything packed and we packed up the car. I chased Andrea around and hugged her. We found Aender, napping, and said a sad goodbye to him. We went to Chuy to tell her how much she meant to us and how important she was to us. I wish I could have communicated it better.

It was probably 5 when we left to go back to Maria Jose's apartment in Mexico City. For some reason, I wasn't that tired so I offered to start driving. We grabbed snacks and started our way trading everyones ipods to listen to their top 25 songs. The view was just as gorgeous as the ride down here. As always you can look around and see at least one massive rainstorm in the distant mountains. I am still in awe of Mexico's beauty. Probably 2-3 hours into me driving, I started getting REALLY tired. We waited in a toll line and Melissa and I quickly jumped out of the car to switch and she drove. It wasn't long after the switch that I hardcore passed out. I fell asleep for the rest of the car ride in the best sleep possible. Melissa safely (and impressively) got us back to the apartment and this time it didn't take 8 hours!

We got into the apartment, grabbed water, and pretty much went to bed. It had been such a long day and a long week, all we could really do was sleep.

Day Trece

Kristina Subsara August 24, 2012

Today we were back with the kids. It was a day we had planned to be full of filming, and since we were behind schedule from Friday we decided there should be no english lesson. Once everyone came, we split into the two groups and instructed everyone to finish storyboards, handing out roles, sorting out props, and location scouting. Things got really chaotic with people running to the bathroom, girls changing their outfits for the films, kids running around looking for places to film. It was nuts.

Around 11 everyone was mostly ready to shoot, and all of us coaches were very eager to start shooting because we know how long it really takes. Esme and I talked about working with both groups and basically having Sarah and I switch back and forth with Oscar and Esme so we would always be with someone who spoke Spanish really well. In the end, Oscar and I went with the group doing the horror movie. Once we got working with this group however it was really hard to switch to the other groups. We knew what things needed to be shot and we knew the story really well. Therefore Oscar and I became the producers of the terror movie and Sarah and Esme worked with the kids on the drama movie.

It took a little bit of time to get started shooting because we were working with a much younger age group. They had shorter attention spans and a lot of the young girls wanted to draw on the white boards or wander off. Eventually we set up a policy that if they weren't directly active with the movie scene, they were to go help Melissa with the signs and CD cover drawings.

The first day we actually got a lot of shooting done, as in 9 scenes. It was amazing doing the very first scene though. With the silent films, they kids pretty much shot each scene once. However, with these films, we did the first scene once. Then we did it again at a different angle. If something was off, we did it again. It the acting wasn't perfect we shot it again. I think the kids appreciated the amount of work that goes into filming that first day.

We finished with the kids on time and sent them home. We went to eat and I believe I went to go take a nap. I hadn't slept the night before. Today was the day we were supposed to go horseback riding. Unfortunately I talked to Fernando at lunch and he told Oscar and I that the only horses available were race horses, therefore we wouldn't be able to ride them.

Which ended up being a good thing because I was still sick.

There were some things that we needed from town, so the girls went out. I stayed in. Esme and Sarah's group needed a time lapse of the sunset and there was no guarantee I'd make it back in time so I stayed, set my camera on a chair overlooking the countryside and did a time lapse. I'm actually mad that I didn't do this sooner, or for more days. By the time we thought of it, I really only had one night to do it and sometimes it can be hard to guess what area is going to have the best lighting, clouds, colors, etc. It was such a beautiful 'moment,' the sunset. I'm glad I captured a piece of that night.

Post Script, I'll post the time lapse when I get a computer that can edit video, which should be soon!

Day Doce

Kristina Subsara August 23, 2012

Today we woke up around noon again because of the late night the others had. The girls were CRAVING breakfast, so we tried to head out early enough to eat breakfast somewhere. Melissa kept calling restaurants asking them to just serve us breakfast because we're special. Basically it didn't work and we ended up in the village square sitting outside with a wonderful view for people watching. I ordered a sandwich and Oscar had ordered as well. For some reason, Esme, Melissa, and Sarah didn't order their food until our food came (probably because they were on the internet); but we spent a lot of time just sitting and relaxing at this restaurant. Now, if you've never traveled around, you might not know that in other cultures there is a variety of different people doing odd things to try and make money. Mexico was no different. It was filled with old and young people alike that were trying to sell things. Kids trying to sell little squares of gum, old men selling 'zarapes', and women selling baked goods. Now when I say kids, I don't necessarily mean teens. I mean small children ranging from ages 4 to 16. I witnessed a really heartwarming scene while we were having lunch. A handful of people had approached our table offering their items and one little boy said something quick to Oscar. Oscar quietly said something to him. About twenty seconds later Oscar grabbed a roll off our table and quickly handed it to the kid who ran off with it.

Here we are, blessed to have whatever we want in the restaurant while all around us people are struggling to survive. This isn't just about Mexico. People all over the world work so hard for such little rewards. I think sometimes people forget to be thankful for the small blessings like a full belly or the freedom of playing with your friends instead of having to work when you're just a kid. This was one of my favorite moments. I asked Oscar what he had said and he told me the boy had asked for a roll. Oscar replied it wasn't a good idea to do it right under the waiters' nose. So he waited for him to step into the restaurant and gave this kid food. This moment absolutely made my day.

We sat there awhile looking over things to do, chatting with each other and relaxing. My stomach was still freaking out. I think I ate a fourth of a sandwich and was done. After lunch we walked around the city some more looking for more information on the film festival. Melissa was trying to get ahold of Sebastian to see if we could do something with him. In the end we walked around and went into a theatre that was showing some of the films. One was a really beautiful short with incredible lighting. The story was of a ballerina whose grandmother danced too. She talks about her passion for dancing and how her grandmother would have been proud of her. In the end, you find out that she is blind. Other films were great, if not for their content then for the fact that they encouraged me to start entering film festivals.

Unfortunately I had to leave one of the films because of being sick. I stood on the porch to this gorgeous theatre and looked around me. Mountains curled around the city and the sun was setting behind them. It was a beautiful moment locked in my memory.

We waited for everyone to finish the movie we were in and come outside. The girls picked up snacks and we went on our way back to Ceracaly.

We got back home just as it was dark. I made a bowl of pasta, which was pretty much all that I ate the whole day. Shortly after I came to the conclusion that I wasn't sick unless I ate. So I'm fine if I don't want to live...

We planned for the rest of the night.